so sorry for not writing diary entries during winter however its cuz i didnt have time, so anyway this is a explanation of everything that happened that i remember
i met a pedo on the internet (dont worry he didnt do anything to me that i didnt let him do and i didnt meet him)
liam apparently still thinks im alive (though im still too scared to actually talk to him without accidentally getting all obsessed again or getting pissed off at him
and i randomly started talking and not being so quiet!
for the most part i stayed in the house, i felt really depressed during new years and saw a guy preaching on the street about Jesus christs balls or something like that, but im kinda fine now? My new years idk wish is to find a hot emo abusive boyfriend in high school so ya
Oh! also on the last day the boy i kinda acted mean towards was pretty chill so i kinda didnt apologize but i did act nice to him so i think were fine? i guess ill find out later today cuz rn im in 3rd period Science.
also yknow i always said i was a attention sucker cuz i always need attention or praise, and it turns out i wasnt over reacting, i really do need people to pay attention to me, the entire winter break i was really depressed cuz in reality i have NO ONE to hang out with and instead im stuck with my mom who all in all i really dislike her, but anyway parkers nice but parker lives in another county near mines but still like an hour away plus traffic, although it doesnt mean id give him up im really close to him, but anyway i got so needy for attention i basically just accidentally just stopped being so anti social and randomly started posting stuff on random social medias i dont even use, which btw is how i met a pedo. Anyway the most fun i had was on roblox (haha yeah call me a loser) but thats the only place where i could randomly become friends with people so ya, but even then i really want attention, i wanna be famous, i want someone to love me, i want someone, i need attention and i need someone to pay attention to me all the time, i need someone that'll do nothing but make their life about mines, i need someone to follow me, to fall so madly in love with me its bad. If that were to happen, id fall in love with them as deep as they are for me. I didnt get a confindence boost, i just wanna find someone so badly i broke my own mind.
edit: so yeah me and the guy who i got pissed off at are chill now i guess? i just kinda went to the bathroom though till the class was close to ending before i came back